What now?

I've been neglecting this blog for quite some time now but only because I've got more important things to attend to.

I've been reviewing for my board exam and fortunately, was able to pass it. The celebrations are done and over.

What now?

I am currently being considered to be part of Sun Cellular's engineering management trainees. During the interview, the panelists asked me one question I couldn't forget: "Are you a leader?"

All my life I feel like I've always been a follower. And a good one at that I believe. Yes, I became group leader here and there, but was I a leader of a large group? No.

And I couldn't help asking myself: "Am I mature enough to be a manager?" As I was riding on the bus home, I further examined myself. I regretted not joining as many clubs and organizations as I can during high school and college. But then again, maybe I would've failed more subjects had I joined.

But then I came to realize one thing: I feel that I want to be a leader. I feel that I am ready. It's true that I'm scared of the unknown. Scared of failing. But the desire is there.

I'll just hope that the whole me is willing.

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Who we really are?

After watching Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" episode on the Philippines, his last question kept on resonating in my head.

"Who are we really," Mr. Bourdain said. He said he was a New Yorker first, then American second. He also suggested that the whole concept of national or ethnic identity is already quaint and might be getting outdated.

So I asked myself the same question, who am I really? I don't know myself. I'm a multi-faceted person who loves a lot of things, from math to the arts. I'm a proud Filipino but also do not prefer afritada or papaitan.

Is it really important anymore?

The question isn't limited to national or ethnic identity. More importantly, it is a question an individual should ask oneself. And I need to do this myself, fast. Especially since I'm turning a new chapter in my life.

I'm fast approaching my mid-twenties and I think I'm already having a quarter-life crisis. What do I really want? What career should I really pursue?

I think I need to take some time and think hard.

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Finally

After 18 long years!

I'll miss this!

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My Manila

Since I started reviewing at R. Papa, I've fallen in love with Manila. I love the architecture, the people, the parks, even the chaos and the pollution. It's all part of Manila's charm.

Quezon Bridge

One of the many parks in Manila.

Lerma Street, near where I am reviewing now.

Manila City Hall. I love that red clock tower!

Roxas Boulevard, which is for me, the best-looking public street in the Philippines.

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Dome

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Accenture lays off 500

So Accenture Manila has laid off 500 employees.

Why does this whole global financial crisis have to happen just when I was about to graduate? It frustrates me.

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I lost my cardigan

First of all, maybe you're thinking that I'm so shallow for having to blog my lost cardigan. Well, let me tell why:

1. I've been looking for ages for a cardigan that actually fits me, is not overpriced, and is in neutral colors.

2. I came across that cardigan by accident. There's a new Fox branch in Mall of Asia and I debated whether I should check it out since I know that prices could be a bit high. But to my surprise, the cardigan actually wasn't that expensive.

3. I brought the cardigan and my umbrella today just when it didn't rain. And while commuting and walking, I decided to place the umbrella inside my bag instead of the cardigan, which I now realized was stupid.

4. The cardigan wasn't even a month old!

I've called Gateway, SM Cubao, and Ali Mall in the hopes of finding that darn thing. Will try to call them again tomorrow. I actually left a paper bag at Banco de Oro yesterday, and when I called, they have it and I was able to retrieve the paper bag today. Hope I will have the same luck.

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Antique

I feel old.

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Can't stop eating

I promised myself that I would eat less now that the holidays are gone. And besides, I need to save because I'm really broke.

But my friend and I went to Chinatown today to have lunch. Naturally, the servings were big and they weren't cheap either.

Oh well. I'll just start tomorrow.

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Wordle

My Wordle.

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Up early

Our tree has been up for quite a few days now. Can you feel the holidays yet?

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Time off

I think I just need to take some time off. Hopefully this Saturday, before the review, I could do just that.

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Dilemma

Why do your loved ones make it hard for you to love them unconditionally?

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Anticipation

I miss my school majorly. It's been a month. I'll be back this Saturday.

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Not a retreat, just a vacation

Last week, I spent two days at the Capuchin Retreat House in Lipa City, Batangas for our first and only retreat in college.

It was beautiful indeed. A very welcome respite from the hustle and bustle of city living.

However, this is the only retreat where I haven't really felt God's presence. I have truly changed a lot in a span of 4 years. The effect of my Philosophy course still lingers in my mind and heart.

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It's the season

A former (I think so) loved one has just broken up with her boyfriend, a former rival (I think so). One of my biggest regrets was not being able to tell her how I feel felt.

Now with this incident, will I be that guy? That guy who is like a cat about to pounce on a helpless wounded mouse?

No. I won't. Much of the feelings have been lost as well. But we'll see.

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No retaliation

My professor embarrassd me in front of the class today. He revealed that I ignored him after he failed me.

Well it's true. That was about two years ago already. It's been a year since I started talking to him again.

Well no more retaliation from me this time. I'm too old for that.

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Douchebag

I've been prone to having outbursts this year.

I think I'm becoming a douchebag.

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Untitled

I'm a broken man.

I'm in an unfamiliar territory the past couple of weeks. Literally. I keep finding myself wasting precious hours in Manila Doctors Hospital for the completion of our thesis. But to no avail. Those hours were nothing but wasted. And the atmoshpere inside the hospital certainly didn't help.

In other news, today, I had awkward moments with two of my high school batchmates.

The first one was used to be a close friend. Early in the morning, we crossed each others' paths. There was eye contact. And then we continued walking in our separate directions.

The second one was not really a close friend, but we used to say hi to each other. She got on the same bus as I did on my way home from school. There was the usual boring me. I tried to keep a conversation with her, but to be honest, I really just wanted to be left alone. I'm a broken man remember?

I really need to get out. And party. With someone. But then again, I'm broke.

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Thoughts for today

Why is everyone suddenly joining Facebook? I got around 10 invites just this week.

The Taco Bell branch in SM Southmall is now closed. I loved their pseudo-Mexican food.

The bus fare from our village to school has increased by around 54%. How I wish the proposed extension of the Light Rail Transit (LRT) from Baclaran to Cavite was already completed. Would've saved me a lot of time and money. By the way, I spent 45 minutes waiting for a bus on my way home.

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